Memories...

My husband and I were not high school sweethearts, in the usual sense of the word. We haven't dated since we have been 16, but we have been friends that long... very good friends. And over that 10+ years we tried to date once or twice, but it never stuck until, well now obviously, but until 3.5 years ago when we started dating "for real" and knew it was the real thing.

I look back at how lucky we are to have that solid friendship over the years, but still have each experienced different things: dated different people, went to different schools, lived in different cities, etc. We each have our own unique set of experiences in early adulthood, but we also get the pleasure of being together in the end without having to ask all those "surface" getting to know you questions, or ever having to worry/wonder about each other's pasts. It's perfect really... which is why I married him! Well, that and his killer smile ;-)

What spawned this post was my little sister, Jessica. Tonight, she managed to rummage through my parent's basement and find some photos of me and Dave from high school and early college. She then proceeded to scan them and post them to facebook, tagging me in them for the world to see. So I thought, why not post a few fond memories on my blog as well.

High School: 1998 (He was a Senior & Winter Dance King, I was a Junior)

My college Sorority formal: 2001

And here we are today: NYE 08/09

Oh my, how the years fly by!

Coincidence? I think not!

After being a called a "nag" for the first time in our 5 week marriage, and probably with good reason, I find it to be no coincidence, that this article just popped up on my iGoogle "How To" section a few moments ago: "5 Ways to Compromise with Your Spouse" .

As I browsed for last minute holiday gifts online, this lovely little article on wikiHow brought to my attention that the best gifts I can give my new hubby this holiday season are not the great French cuff shirts that are sitting in the Macy's bag in our bedroom waiting to be wrapped. Instead, I need to give the gift of being a more active listener. Primarily, the part about removing all other distractions.

At work, I have two flat screen computer monitors on my "desk" (a table) and am usually typing as I am also dialing and also speaking into the headset attached to my ear (no I am not a telemarketer, I'm a recruiter). I also sit in an "open" floor environment where I am within an arms reach of one other person, within whispering distance of at least four other people and just one loud laugh away from about 15 others. So needless to say, in order to be successful in my professional life, I need to be a strong multi-tasker and must be able to thrive amongst multiple distractions.

What I am beginning to realize though very early in my married life is that what works in the office does not necessarily work at home. I know that to be a better partner that I must set aside the laptop (yes, every once in a while), maybe even turn off the TV and LISTEN. Don't get me wrong, I know multitasking is a great skill set, but communication can also suffer while doing so. 

And I'm thinking after reading this article that all of those times he tells me that "he doesn't care", may be because he THINKS his opinions won't matter anyway. But by all means it does though or I would not ask. Maybe it's also because he knows of my nasty little addiction too, I always have to win; yet, in compromise there should not be a winner and a loser. Maybe just two losers...lol. And since I'm in a confessing mood, I also admit that I need to do more asking, instead of just telling.

So, here it goes...

Dear Dave:

I promise to be a better listener; thus, we'll better at compromising.

Enjoy your gift & Merry Christmas!

Steph :-)