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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Coincidence? I think not!

After being a called a "nag" for the first time in our 5 week marriage, and probably with good reason, I find it to be no coincidence, that this article just popped up on my iGoogle "How To" section a few moments ago: "5 Ways to Compromise with Your Spouse" .


As I browsed for last minute holiday gifts online, this lovely little article on wikiHow brought to my attention that the best gifts I can give my new hubby this holiday season are not the great French cuff shirts that are sitting in the Macy's bag in our bedroom waiting to be wrapped. Instead, I need to give the gift of being a more active listener. Primarily, the part about removing all other distractions.

At work, I have two flat screen computer monitors on my "desk" (a table) and am usually typing as I am also dialing and also speaking into the headset attached to my ear (no I am not a telemarketer, I'm a recruiter). I also sit in an "open" floor environment where I am within an arms reach of one other person, within whispering distance of at least four other people and just one loud laugh away from about 15 others. So needless to say, in order to be successful in my professional life, I need to be a strong multi-tasker and must be able to thrive amongst multiple distractions.

What I am beginning to realize though very early in my married life is that what works in the office does not necessarily work at home. I know that to be a better partner that I must set aside the laptop (yes, every once in a while), maybe even turn off the TV and LISTEN. Don't get me wrong, I know multitasking is a great skill set, but communication can also suffer while doing so. 

And I'm thinking after reading this article that all of those times he tells me that "he doesn't care", may be because he THINKS his opinions won't matter anyway. But by all means it does though or I would not ask. Maybe it's also because he knows of my nasty little addiction too, I always have to win; yet, in compromise there should not be a winner and a loser. Maybe just two losers...lol. And since I'm in a confessing mood, I also admit that I need to do more asking, instead of just telling.

So, here it goes...

Dear Dave:

I promise to be a better listener; thus, we'll better at compromising.

Enjoy your gift & Merry Christmas!

Steph :-)

1 comments:

Leftturnyielder December 15, 2008 at 12:36 AM  

Hmm. Maybe we are the same person! My husband gives in all the time because he thinks its easier to just make me happy (not that there is anything wrong with that!). This can be just as frustrating as someone who always voices their opinion. I definitely need to listen better as well, and make sure he knows I'm really listening.

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I'm a St. Louis native, but I have been living in Chicago since 2005 and am loving every windy minute of it. I enjoy cooking (more-so eating), home decorating and really anything creative. I'm a supporter of DIY & handmade goods, a fledgling foodie and a connoisseur of kitsch. I spend my days filling online shopping carts, emptying them and repeating the process all over again. Most of all I love spending time with my husband, Dave, our first child, Claire and my dog, Louie.

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