Coincidence? I think not!

After being a called a "nag" for the first time in our 5 week marriage, and probably with good reason, I find it to be no coincidence, that this article just popped up on my iGoogle "How To" section a few moments ago: "5 Ways to Compromise with Your Spouse" .

As I browsed for last minute holiday gifts online, this lovely little article on wikiHow brought to my attention that the best gifts I can give my new hubby this holiday season are not the great French cuff shirts that are sitting in the Macy's bag in our bedroom waiting to be wrapped. Instead, I need to give the gift of being a more active listener. Primarily, the part about removing all other distractions.

At work, I have two flat screen computer monitors on my "desk" (a table) and am usually typing as I am also dialing and also speaking into the headset attached to my ear (no I am not a telemarketer, I'm a recruiter). I also sit in an "open" floor environment where I am within an arms reach of one other person, within whispering distance of at least four other people and just one loud laugh away from about 15 others. So needless to say, in order to be successful in my professional life, I need to be a strong multi-tasker and must be able to thrive amongst multiple distractions.

What I am beginning to realize though very early in my married life is that what works in the office does not necessarily work at home. I know that to be a better partner that I must set aside the laptop (yes, every once in a while), maybe even turn off the TV and LISTEN. Don't get me wrong, I know multitasking is a great skill set, but communication can also suffer while doing so. 

And I'm thinking after reading this article that all of those times he tells me that "he doesn't care", may be because he THINKS his opinions won't matter anyway. But by all means it does though or I would not ask. Maybe it's also because he knows of my nasty little addiction too, I always have to win; yet, in compromise there should not be a winner and a loser. Maybe just two losers...lol. And since I'm in a confessing mood, I also admit that I need to do more asking, instead of just telling.

So, here it goes...

Dear Dave:

I promise to be a better listener; thus, we'll better at compromising.

Enjoy your gift & Merry Christmas!

Steph :-)

I'm a Mrs!

The dust has settled, the honeymoon is over and today was my first day back at work as a MRS.! Today was actually weird going back to work after being off for 2 whole weeks. Dave has much more vacation than me so he took 3 weeks off and got to sleep in today while I braved the cold and took the train to work :-(

It was strange today, I actually woke up nervous to go to work today, like I was starting a new job or something, only I have had this one for 2.5 years! I wonder if this is normal? My whole schedule has been out of whack too, I couldn't even remember what time to set my alarm for or how long it takes me to walk to the train in the morning...what did the wedding do to my brain!

Also, this is kind of sappy, but it would be the first time in over a week that I would spend my days without my new husband, or with anyone except for him. When did I become a needy wife? Oh yeah, just 11 days ago.

Once I got to work, it was just like old times and my co-workers (that attended) had lovely things to say about our day which was great.

I promise to post various photos and other details in posts along the way, but overall our day was wonderful. Wonderfully chilly, but I was warm off of adrenaline so I didn't seem to mind as much as the guests and the bridal party did. Here are a few photos to hold you over and I promise to post more soon!

Just Married!:

Our Exit Kiss:

Pretty Maids all in a Row:

Me with the Maids:

The Cake:

Centerpieces:

Farewell from the new Mr. & Mrs.:

More to come!

What's in a name?

Ok, I know I am a bad blogger. One month between posts is unacceptable, so I'll try to be better!

But as I inch closer and closer to my wedding day, I realize there are some decisions that are bigger than centerpieces and hors d' oeuvres. For instance, in 90+ days I will become "Stephanie Married" instead of "Stephanie Maiden". Yikes!

I really struggle with the name change dilemma and feel different about it daily. I want to take my fiance's last name legally and for our eventual family, but I do feel like I have made SOMEWHAT of a name for myself professionally and am unsure of how a sudden change will effect it. (FYI: I am a recruiter and often times candidates find me thru searching linkedIn and referrals, etc.)

So should I change it legally and just transition into calling myself Stephanie Maiden Married for a while? Then eventually drop the Maiden?

Or do I stay Stephanie Maiden at work and Stephanie Married elsewhere?

I'd hate to make it all confusing, but then again what isn't confusing about living 27 years as a Maiden and then suddenly being called a Married??

Just one of the many struggles that ladies face, that men never even have to ponder.